Wednesday, November 24, 2010

My Call Of Duty

I LOVE my husband. He loves me. He's a great dad & provider. He works hard. Constantly wants to make things bigger & better. But I wouldn't want to be him. First off he has to put up with a lot of things, like constant back pain & little ol' me who never gives him any trouble or grief and may or may not be very stubborn. But he's also a farmer which means he works long hours (last week he worked 67 hours, but even that many isn't as many as his dad puts in. which I'm glad) & he's had his hand in places that make me want to puke just thinking about them. He has come home with animal fluids, guts, poop, blood, placenta & who knows what else all over him. I'd rather be the one washing & cleaning that mess than being involved in the makings of it. I love being a girl. I love being a woman. Hair accessories. Makeup. Pretty clothes. Jewelry. Shoes. Nail polish. CRAFTS! shopping. Free drinks. Purses. Being a mom. I'm the one our kids want when they are hurt, tired, sad, scared or just want to be loved. I can go have a spa day & no one would blame me. But I'm also the one who can't seem to catch a break on sleeping through the night. If it's not one, it's the other. I get poop, pee, spit up & food on my hands, hair, clothes & only God knows what & where else! I'm the one who makes breakfast (sometimes) then cleans up only to have to start on lunch, then clean up only to start on dinner. the one who hears "r u done?!" as soon as I turn the shower off. I'm ok with all this because God has equipped me to handle it. I enjoy doing it. but sometimes, I need a break, an outlet. a massage, a day to just watch old Late Night With Jimmy Fallon or Everybody Loves Raymond episodes WITHOUT interruptions. I can't even pee without a disturbance, without hearing "mommy r u pooping?! Open the door. I wanna come in there!". But even when I've gotten the massage, vegged out on the couch without the kiddos around, or tried to go shopping for myself all I can think about is all the housework I should be doing. right now. this time i should be folding laundry, well, maybe washing it first. sweeping, there's never ending dishes & dust waiting for me every day.  I want an escape, to be able to clear my mind & not think about any of these things.  The guilt. the wondering why i can't seem to get more done or at least done right. & when I do get a little "me time" I miss those freaking kids. These are the times when I  envy my husband. not the animal fluids, not the callouses on his hands, not the long hours, hard work, or even the fact that he's got such a wonderful wife that does everything for him [ ;) ]. I will admit it because I know, at least I hope I'm not the only one who's thought this. I envy his Call Of Duty.

[50 inch isn't big enough he has to have a chair right up front]

Black Ops just came out. He could play forever. 

Thursday, November 18, 2010

fall

This is what I saw when I stepped out the front door the other day:



gotta love it! :)