blah!

I'm ready to share lots of things with you.

but i don't feel like it.
i feel very, very blah....
i still have my draft of insta-friday from last week {a post recaping the week in instagram pictures. i'll show you this friday}

i haven't gotten out of my yoga clothes from this morning.
good thing it was just some light yoga & stretching cause if not i'd totally stink.

but Douglas & i did run to the bank & the post office today. yes, in my yoga clothes. Billy kept an eye on Isabella for me {she was asleep the whole time}

outside the bank we saw this!

a moth.

a giant moth.

i have a very low tolerance for moths. meaning that they make me gag. they scare me. give me the hibbie jibbies.

i guess we have a knack for finding moths though. {like the one we found coming out of its cocoon a couple months back - here}

of course D had to "pet it".

that was the highlight of the day pretty much.

i think maybe i'm blah because of my grandma.

she's been living with my mom but now she's decided to go visit family in NC & Maryland for a couple of months. from there she's going back to Cali to spend time with my only aunt, her sisters & their kids.

by Christmas she wants to be in El Salvador.

she wants to stay there.

she feels like a burden.

honestly, she kind of is.

she stayed with us for a few days and it was like having another kid.. except you can't tell her no. i mean you can't get on to her.

and she doesn't speak or read english so she used my lysol wipes that were on the toilet as wet wipes for her ummm... self. lol funny & sad at the same time.

every day she wanted to be take out. to go somewhere, even if it was just for a ride.

she eats like 10 meals a day. plus snacks.

she wants to go to walmart with you. and look at every single thing! by the time you get to groceries she's tired & ready to go home. but not before she sneaks a chocolate bar into the cart.

actually.... this sounds a lot like me. well, except for the using lysol wipes on your butt part. and normally it's red bull i sneak in. not chocolate. 

she also says that she feels like her life is coming to an end and it's too expensive to be buried in the US. she doesn't want to put that on us. she wants to see the family she hasn't seen in a while. last time she was in El Salvador was about 6 years ago. that's her home. our home. 

my grandma {or abuela} & my mom came to visit last Saturday.

that might have been the last time i got to see her. the last time she saw my children, my husband, my brother. me.

though she's a handful i can't imagine life without her in it.

mi abuelita.

the woman i was named after.

no matter what i know that every morning she gets on her knees and begs God for me. to protect me, teach me, love me, take care of me and my family. i know that she names us by name before The Lord. I can't imagine her not doing that.

after she prays she "works out" she does laps around the house. {smile} she does neck exercises. look right, left, up, down, right, left... lol no stiff old lady here. then she eats an eggo waffle with banana slices & syrup on top.

maybe this is what i needed. just to reflect & share her.

thanks for reading...