2013 will be

The year I actually set some goals and actively try to accomplish them.

While growing up, my resolutions were always to do better in school, read more etc. Then when I "grew up" + got married they changed to things like don't waste so much money, budget, utilize my time wisely, be a better wife... Now that I'm a mom I honestly cannot remember what I've said the last few years, I haven't really made over it. But in my mind I have thought, "I'm going to do better. take better care of the house, just do more."

That's all fine + dandy, but I need to be more specific. So a few days ago I sat down and wrote 5 things that I wanted to do this year. Not just something I want to experience, but things that I want to change in myself. In my way of living, in my personality, in my daily life. While doing this I thought about how I might be able to actually get with it and get things together IF I took the time to make a timeline, put baby steps down below my BIG things that would help me get there. I've had this blog as a draft for about a week, just mulling it over.. With just my short list.

Last night one of my favorite people in the world, Susan Petersen posted her New Year's post- "on goal setting - five steps to take control of 2013". On how to actually keep your goals and accomplish them. It's like she read my mind. It was like she was talking specifically to me. If you haven't checked her out yet, you should. She's a celebrity you know.

Susan is also giving away a year of her fab baby moccasins to a lucky Instagramer. If you're not on there.. do it. New Year's Day is the last day to enter. Here are the details.

So here are my big goals. I have a whole separate list for Created, and a few personal goals that include my guy, my kids & my God, but I'm going to keep that private for now. I can't tell you guys everything! Sheesh.

»get healthy
»workout
»stay home more
»get organized
»make our house a home
»save/stop wasting money

And this is how I'm going to accomplish them.

»Get healthy + workout.
I put those 2 together because they go hand in hand. But how? What steps will I take to make this happen?

1. I'm going to try and cut as much sugar out of our diet as I can. We will be using natural stevia powder [no, not truvia] to sweeten most of what we will need sweetened. I'll mix it with apple fiber to use it in baking, and make liquid sweetener from it for our coffee & drinks.
2. I also have this love affair with pizza. ANY pizza. If it's pizza, I'll eat it. I could eat it for breakfast, lunch, + dinner.. on special occasions I do. Little Caesar's has it for $5 something. And it's right by Walmart  So get groceries but buy pizza to eat... That's dumb. But I do it. Not all the time, but embarrassingly more than I should. I won't do that anymore. Unless it's my birthday.
3. More water. No soda. [I also love pepsi.] and my children love apple juice, LOVE it. but I'm hoping more natural teas sweetened with honey or stevia. But definitely more water.
4. Very little fast food. Except for our yearly Sonic corn dogs on Halloween, or maybe alot ourselves 1 fast food meal a month. This will save money AND help us get healthy.
5. Eat homemade. Not just less fast food, but make our own granola bars instead of buying the packaged ones, make our own taco seasoning instead of buying the one with all the chemicals in it. Make our own ice cream as a special treat. Since I love pizza so much, maybe have our own pizza night where all of us make individual pizzas, on homemade crust with homemade pizza sauce, maybe even homemade mozzarella.Things like that.
6. workout. Take the time to do it. I love yoga. love. it. But I can't be all namaste with kids yelling at me. So I'll GO to yoga class once a week. AND work out at home at least 2 -3 days a week. I have a hard time with that. Like I should be doing dishes or vacuuming instead. It's that friggen mommy-guilt.

»Stay home more.
This will help me with getting organized, making our house a home, AND getting healthy. I'll have time to make mozzarella, and granola bars.

1.Get organized. I'll make shopping lists and meal lists and activity lists so that when D has school I'll get everything I need while I'm out instead of having to go back to the store because I forgot something.
2.Allot time for activities + play dates. Just not too many, it is ok to say no. Have friends over more often.
3.Stop instant gratification. Sometimes I see something on tv or have an idea and have to have it right away. Mathew + I are both like that. He's was worse than me, but now we just met somewhere in the middle. You're not going to die if you don't get it right away, just wait til the next time you're in town Emma. Wait.

»Get organized.
1.Plan our meals. I used to do this and it's amazing.
2.Keep a laundry schedule and actually stick to it! I have one already made up, when I stick with it, it works like a charm. A load a day except sunday, some days 2 loads.
3. Stick with a cleaning schedule. An area a day type thing.
4. Declutter.

»Make our house a home.
I feel complimented when most of my friends say that they feel so at home at our house. We must too because this place is usually a pit. There's clothes and toys everywhere. The kids are often seen wearing clothes then just underwear, then a different set of clothes... later I find clothes under the couch cushions and just strewn on the floor. And I'm sad to admit that the kids are not the only ones.

1.Accomplish previous resolution. That would help a lot, specially the decluttering part.
2.Put things where they go RIGHT AWAY. Sometimes I open a package in the living room and set the trash on the coffee table instead of walking over to the trashcan and throwing it away. When I get up I forget to take it with me. Later I find it on the floor in pieces. I could get upset at the kids or the dog, but it's my fault. Same with dishes. I have a drink while I'm crocheting on the couch. I finish my drink but don't take it to the kitchen, then forget about it. Next time I do the same thing, now 2 cups on the end table. LAZY. That's what it is. No way around it. Stop doing that.
3.Fatigue doesn't last forever. If you need to stay up an extra 30 minutes to do dishes + clean the counters, do it! It's better to wake up tired to a clean kitchen and picked up house than to wake up tired to a messy and dirty house.
4.Paint. Sew. Make.

»Save/stop waiting money.
1. ALL OF THE ABOVE.

They all flow together don't they. Getting organized will help us get healthy by planning meals and giving us a schedule. It will also help me keep up with things around the house, which will make us happier at home and help me have time to take out to work out. Doing all of that will require me to be home more... which I'll want to be because I'll love it here. I'll want to make it prettier, make it ours. I'll have more time to sew, make pillow covers, curtains.. eek! Bake more food! Cook more, which goes back to the healthy thing. The possibilities are endless. All of this will help save money. No more wasting it on crappy food. I'd rather spend more on good food. No more wasting it on gas running around after crap either!

I know that some people would look at staying home more as a sucky thing, but I'm really looking forward to it. I'm excited. 2013 will be a good year. What are some of the things you hope to accomplish + change this year?! I'd love to hear about them!

2012 was

Well, it looked like it would be a rough one... and it was. It's never as bad as it could be, it can always get worse, so I'm not complaining, just talking.

Honestly, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.. but probably because I psyched myself up.

I didn't do much blogging.. even though I wanted to. even though I needed to. I just couldn't.

In January Mathew had spine surgery. [details on the before surgery info, here]
Recovery was rough [here + here]... and not just on Mathew. I almost had a breakdown.
At times I felt weak for not handling it better. But we got through it.

We also celebrated our 7 year anniversary... I'm here to tell you that the 7 year itch is real. It. Is. Real. But we made it. We survived. We're stronger than ever.

I got some good deals.. this dress for 9.99?! I mean...

You guys, Douglas started pre-school.. SCHOOL!

We had a couple of great trips home, even one to fabulous craft show that I haven't told you guys much about. I was so excited to get in, and I had such a fabulous time! But I just haven't had the time to blog about the experience.

Double rainbow!

Isabella was grumpy... I'd say about 355 days out of the year.

I found some more awesomeness via Pinterest. Including some words that help me be ok with being a crappy mom sometimes... I bared my heart and soul to ya'll. I know I'm not the only one that hears the phantom murders, screams, and carnage.

Douglas turned 5 and had a killer Michael Jackson party.. I have that blog as a draft.. forgive me.

Douglas also had his first surgery... hopefully only surgery. He had his tonsils removed, but get this.. on the SAME day as Mathew had his removed.. Double tonsillectomies... I have nothing more to say about that. It wasn't pretty.

We had a fabulous Christmas... but I have to mention Sandy Hook. I was out Christmas shopping when I heard, first I saw something about it on Facebook. Even though Facebook + I have a rocky history, when I'm out on the town I can't help but check it every so often. Everyone just expressed sadness... once I looked into it.. I had a horrible feeling. I tried not to let it get to me, I was trying to get all the shopping done that day. It was on the back of my mind though.. and after the kids were put to bed, I just lost it. I couldn't stop crying. I was so sad. I feel for the parents.... and those poor babies. What they went through... What they felt, the fear. I can't even... I'm so sorry. My heart, prayers, love goes out to all of the victims' families... no words could ever comfort you, or make it easier... I still have my babies though, and I don't think I'll ever look at them the same. though I want to run away from them sometimes, or they make me want to stab myself in the eyeball, the thought of those sweet children & what their parents went through won't leave me. I can't shake it. So I'll hold them a little longer, let them sit on my lap, let them "help me in the kitchen... love them. Because they are still here for me to love.

I think that next year we'll have to do more giving than receiving. And by we I mean the children. They were a little stingy this year. So I'll have to come up with some activities that induce more of a charitable spirit.

This last week D & M got some kind of stomach flu thing.. It lasted less than 24 hours though so that was a +... I'm thinking me & Is didn't get it because we're strong, healthy girls.. men are weak. [*wink*]

I'm kind of glad to see 2012 go... I'm really looking forward to next year. I've got big plans. Mostly plans to get my life back. To do things right, grow, become a better wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend.. a better me.

I also have plans for my little shop.. not big ones, but good ones. But for now, to celebrate the old + new year I have a little something for you.

Cheers!

The way it should be...

I'm going to lose my mind.

I need to keep Douglas occupied so that he doesn't start bleeding out and die. [dramatic much? I don't think so. They cut pieces off of him.] Isabella just wants to be held all day long, she needs constant attention. I know that she takes after me in that way, I like to have attention I wish I didn't but I do need people to like me and be affectionate toward me.

So I think, "okay, all this other crap can wait till tonight after they go to bed or during nap-time." But lately Isabella can't go to sleep without me, without ME being with her. So I lay with her for what feels like an hour, sometimes it IS an hour. By the time she falls asleep it's 9 o'clock and since I've just been laying there I'm super sleepy, if not already passed out with her. I put her in bed with D and it worked fabulous for a while, but she just tries to keep him awake now. During the day we color, play, watch movies/tv [more than we should]. The only things I can do are crocheting, maybe reading, and some online stuff because Isabella can sit on my lap or next to me while I do it.

So things get put off and dishes pile up and laundry overflows. And honestly I just want to throw all the dishes away and get new clothes. I'm also a stress eater so I've gained 20+ pounds in the last two years. I want to do yoga. I want to do my hair. I want to make a nice dinner. I want a freaking shower. I want to sew. I want to have a clean organized home.

But I also want to spend as much time as I can with my children and I want to make memories with them. I want them to remember me as a good mom who didn't take any bull, but also fun. I want them to be happy that let them paint their bedroom walls and I let them paint naked outside and I let them make cookies and make messes and I made cupcakes and things for them. That I took time out and played with them.

I want them to see me as more than just their mom too. As a person, a creative person. A smart person. A pretty girl that doesn't always wear yoga pants. But there is no time for ALL of that. ["Ain't nobody got time for that!"] There's no time for me to play with them AND keep everything picked up and perfect. And if I try to keep everything the way I think it should be I turn into a monster. I want to stab someone if they just breathe or dirty a plate.

So I will learn to embrace the messy. Be comfortable in yoga pants that don't get to do yoga very often and hide the dirty pots and pans and cookie sheets in the oven. At least we made dinner together and decorated some cookies... Even if they were eventually just fed to the dog.

In a a few years I won't know what to do with myself. In a few years I'll wish I could wash their dirty clothes and sleep with them.

But then it'll just be us. it'll be time for us to get to know each other again... for me to pursue anything that I want to. I can travel, go to school, get a job, paint. Anything. But for now I need to just take it a day at a time. I've enjoyed them as babies and toddlers, now Douglas is in preschool and too soon he'll be in kindergarten.. I'll get to enjoy most of it. I'll also get to hate lots of it. No sleep, all the poop, being their taxicab, getting their bad attitude, being talked back to, the eye rolls... Then being left for the career they've dreamed of, the opportunity of a lifetime, for the God that they want to serve, for the pretty girl that he loves & for the boy that steals her heart. They can go be productive, involved members of society. Invent things, write things, learn, teach, achieve. Then all those times I couldn't poop, eat or shower without them will be a blur. And I'll be proud to have been the person that made them who they are. Then they'll live their lives. They'll be on their own. And I can live mine.

[images via here, here, + here]