Hi, my name is Emma

and I may be a little overwhelmed... I'm going to tell you everything that has been going on.. then maybe later in the week (month) I'll expand on it.

The gym my husband owns with a friend is opening it's second location. I know I'm part owner too, but I feel weird saying that. Because it's really his thing. So when people ask if I own it I say, "my husband does." We've been working around the clock (him more than me) to get it open. Hopefully we can by the end of the week.

I've changed Created to EmmaMade. My hats are in a retail store.

I'm planning a big indie craft show for March 2014. I'm hosting it. I'M putting it together. It's something I've been wanting so bad! I found the location, got all the paperwork/permits/rules figured out. I'm going for it!

Douglas is in kindergarten. He's there more than he is home it feels like. He goes from 8-3 Monday through Friday. I miss him. I'm also room parent for his class. But he's also developed a social anxiety thing. Maybe it's a phase. But his daddy kind of does the same thing. He's in a boys hip hop class.

Isabella is obsessed with ballet. Also tinkerbell and Holly Golightly. Yes, Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast At Tiffany's. She acts like she's 25. But she's cute I guess. She is in a ballet class.

Mathew goes in for another CAT scan next month. There's a chance he may have to have another surgery.

I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Bipolar 2. Not the super intense bipolar 1. Not the Silver Lining's Playbook bipolar. I'm ok saying it now. I'm ok talking about it. Now that it's real. At first I just thought I was lazy/ill equipped/not cut out for life as an adult. There's those dumb people. Ok, they aren't dumb, maybe ignorant, inconsiderate people who believe that mental illnesses aren't real. And honestly, I agree with them to an extent. Now a days every child out there has ADD and every adult has fibromyalgia or depression. But I honestly believe that we just don't take care of ourselves. There's no discipline. No spirituality, it's looked down upon, who has time for it?! there's no eating healthy, it's about convenience. Exercising?! what? that doesn't fit into my schedule. Not to mention all the full time moms that also have a full time job. I fortunately can stay home with my children. I love it so much. But when I went to talk to someone about my issues I was worried that they would tell me that I was bored and should take a class or get a job. Honestly I can't imagine ever being bored. I love life, love painting, drawing, crocheting, baking, decorating cakes, watching comedies, documentaries. Who can get bored with the internet around?! Betty Draper said it best, "only boring people get bored." But society has a stigma about stay at home moms. We do not stay home eating bon bons and watching soap operas... one of my husband's closest friends even asked him about me, "Doesn't she want more?" More?! More. I couldn't ask for more. I have my little handmade business, I help my husband in his endeavors, I'm in charge of a household. That's a lot. Things that until not too long ago took  a whole stream of servants to do. Uh, Downton Abbey anyone?! lol a cook, a teacher, a driver, errands, organization, cleaning. Just talking about it wears me out. Add an in town job to that?! no thank you. I admire those who choose to or have to do that. But for me, my place, my happy place, is at home. listening to my children laugh and play while I make a pie. That's joy. But when sadness, not wanting to get out of bed to even feed your children, not wanting to even eat creeps in there... there's a problem. I will answer the basics: No, I am not nor do I plan on taking medication. I thrive on a schedule. So early morning work outs and meal planning will make it all a lot easier. I take on others emotions, so surrounding myself with good friends is super important. Being present and enjoying the moment will help SO much. Also talking to a psychiatrist a couple of times a month has been a life saver. I think that I had about a year and a half where I took the world and put it on my shoulders. Mathew's surgery, 2 babies, my brother lived with us, my mom is well, my mom. When things started getting back "to normal", Mathew going back to work, Douglas starting school, my brother moving out, both kids becoming more independent, I looked around and I wasn't there anymore. I was so busy keeping everyone together that I had let my mind, my heart, my soul slip. I also like to be the motherly type. I take people under my wing and try to just smother them with kindness and love. Even to the detriment of my own family and health. That has to stop.

So day by day. We're living the life we were put here to live. A happy one. One that reflects our father and all the wishes he has for us. One in which we grow and learn every day. Just like the life I picture in my mind for my children. Be healthy, be kind, be happy, have fun, follow your dreams, and don't forget about the one that made you. You are representing your maker + your family every day. When you make mistakes and don't recognize that person in the mirror, just dust it off and start again. Every day is another opportunity to be better. Not better than anyone else, but better than the you you were yesterday.

-Emma

Kindergarten

Douglas graduated preschool last week.
Didn't he just start preschool?!

What am I going to do when he comes home and tells me how some dumb little kid was mean to him?!   I'm not opposed to punching 5 year olds in the face... That's not frowned upon is it?!

And it's not like he hasn't been the mean kid before... sometimes I think that may be just as bad. When YOUR kid is the bully. The one that tells another kid he doesn't like them.. or tells an adult that they have B.O... sigh. Is it that you worry about the kind of person they are becoming. Don't wish for them the pains and lonely lunch eating that accompany the kind of person that lacks a filter? Or is it a selfish thing. An embarrassment. It makes you feel like a bad parent because they haven't learned compassion/self control/manners/the golden rule which are YOUR job to teach them. It makes people think that their actions are a reflection on you and maybe you suck as a person. Maybe you talk smack about others at home. "Privately", you wouldn't DARE say it to them. But after all aren't our kids' personalities an amplification of ours?! It's like holding a mirror up to yourself... I didn't realize how often I put my hands on my hips until Isabella started doing it. Or that I may say bad things about the slow car in front of us... and about the person driving it until Douglas shouted, "hurry up you stupid car!". That Isabella could call her papa a pig because she heard grandma say, "papa is such a pig.." while cleaning up a mess he made [lovingly of course].

Douglas is [for the most part] a teacher's dream; he is usually pretty quiet, kind of shy, listens to instructions, a perfectionist. But will he be too quiet? Will kids look him over and he not have any friends?! Will he get behind in school because he's afraid to ask questions but not afraid to tell the teacher when they say something he thinks is wrong?! ugh.

But again. I think this will be harder on me. I'm being selfish. Though I know that as a parent my job is to ready him to enter the big scary world out there... I don't want to. Can't we just go live in a cave somewhere, just us. Where no one will ever break his heart and he can stay in his childish "why do you have lines on your belly" asking mentality..

But I love that boy. I love the things he loves. He asks how to get to heaven and if I can teach him sometime, when he's ready. He asks so many questions, about cows, grass, things I don't like. But I try to teach him, answer the questions I can about God's love and Michael Jackson. About matching clothes and how you shouldn't be afraid to try new things [even when I am]. I try to teach him about being nice to people, treating your friends and family with love and being considerate. About taking care of himself and how to shower. [we're working on him washing his own body. He has to know the name to EVERY part.. like the elbow pits + knee pits.. also the bankle. That's the back part of your ankle that holds a lot of dirt in the creases when you're running around barefoot. you're welcome for the information, it's free.]

He's a good kid. I think he's ready. He has to be. I have to be. It's happening.

XOXO-
Emma

Oreo Pops

I told y'all I'd share a how-to on the Oreo pops I made for D's MJ birthday party... a few months later, I finally got around to it.

So I found this via Pinterest.

{this picture via}

Oreo Pops! Genius.

I didn't click on it. I just thought, "duh! I can do that!"

Nope.

I figured out real quick that they're not as easy as they look at first glance. I went back and found the pin, but the link didn't have a step by step. I decided to take matters into my own hands. If there is another tut out there, I'm not sure. I just decided to figure it out.

Here's the quick how to: {emma style}

make room for the stick. Just scoop out some of the cream filling and... set it aside.. or eat it. Go ahead. Eat it. You know you want to. Don't waste it.

Melt a few candy melts at a time in a small bowl. I forgot to take a picture of the candy melts that I used. But you can find them here or pick them up at Hobby Lobby, Michael's, or even Walmart. Melt them {*HINT: if you over do it in the microwave and the melted candy becomes thick and just isn't working, add a little bit of coconut oil or shortening to smooth it back out.*}

Grab a stick that hasn't been licked clean {I got mine at the cake/wedding section at Walmart} and dip the lollipop stick in the melted candy.

Spread it around a bit. This will act as a glue to keep you Oreo on the stick. 

Place the other cookie part on top.

If you don't know your own strength like me I guess, they may crack.

No biggie. They'll be covered soon. Place them on a cookie sheet covered with wax paper

Now that all of those are on sticks you can melt the rest of the candy melts, or just a few more. Whatever you feel. Go with your gut. Follow your heart... Do whatever is easiest.

I used a spoon to cover the cookies with melted candy melts. AGAIN, don't try and make them so absolutely perfect. It's impossible. And they'll be eaten in an instant, no one will be inspecting them...  At least I wouldn't think so.

If you want them just white {or whatever color candy melt you got} and don't mind a flat side you can just put them right back on the wax paper, Or use one of these inexpensive cake pop stand things I also found at Walmart. {what can I say? Walmart is a necessary evil.}

If you want to add sprinkles you'll have to do it right after you cover the Oreo with the melted candy melts over a bowl before it dries. ONE AT A TIME. Just pour them on. Half dipped in sprinkles would look fab too!

And that's it. A little more time consuming than I assumed at first, but not to bad. You can also make them a couple of days ahead of time, just keep them covered.

Enjoy! And let me know if you make them or you come up with any new variations to try. I would also LOVE to see pictures. {email me here.}