i'm going to have to...

take a break from this.
I don't want to.
what I really want to do is crawl under my covers & not come out until wednesday for my doctor's appointment.
I want to know what's going on with my body.
I want to be fixed.
I hate feeling like the living dead.
but in reality...
I'm a mom.
I can't  crawl under the covers never to be seen again.
I have butts to wipe,
mouths to feed.
tons of easter candy given early from grandma that needs to be rationed, maybe just put away.
not to mention the laundry.
dishes.
baths.
Isabella's turning 1 on tuesday so that includes:
baking a cake just for her,
cupcakes for everyone else.
celebrating with Mathew's side, we did that today.
she was lovely, she's beautiful
I can't believe she's 1.
also need to celebrate with my side of the family.
we're doing that tomorrow night.
There are so many other things that I want to do.
need to do.
just can't, not without feeling like I'll pass out & die right where I'm at.
even singing happy birthday with everyone to her today made me feel breathless.
so blogging, etsy, everything is going to be on the back burner at least for the first part of this week.
Isabella comes before all of that & I want to be "present" for her birthday, not just there.
I'll be back to post pictures of the most beautiful birthday girl you've ever seen.
& to tell you what my doc tells me.
that is if it's not too private.
my biggest fear is that he'll tell me that there's nothing wrong with me.
that it's just in my head.
well, that would figure.