Tonsilectamies

Yup, more than one. Same family.

Father-Son tonsillectomies.

What I thought would be within a week of each other, then ended up being on the same day.

This would only happen to me right?!

Mathew's was initially scheduled for Wednesday November 28th and Douglas' for Monday December 3rd. Mathew's would've been the day after D's birthday/party [Michael Jackson party?! yes, I'll blog about that soon. Hopefully]. It would have been before The Little Craft Show. So in between me planning/hosting/cleaning up after a party and building my inventory for + traveling to the craft show I've been looking forward to for a year. I would've also had to figure out something for the kids since he would have been recovering from surgery. So... I moved it. To Wednesday December 5th. They do all tonsillectomies on Mondays + Wednesdays. 

So I was prepared, for D's surgery to be on Monday, and M's on Wednesday. Then they called from D's ENT office and said they had to reschedule his to the 5th... I laughed and said of course! Both tonsillectomies would be on Wednesday. Thanks to my wonderful in-laws and some well thought out planning, things went through without a hitch. 

Douglas looked so cute in the gown.

[little boy booty in boxer briefs, need I say more...]

We tried to keep him entertained, and he kept the nurses cracking up. When they asked him if he went by Douglas, Doug or Dougie, he said, "Michael Jackson." And when another nurse asked if she could call him Michael, or Mr. Jackson, he said, "it's Michael Jackson." Ha ha! my kids are a trip.

[clockwise from right: D feeling nervous, D coloring and goofing around with the nurses, and D trying on some of the nurses' latex gloves]

Douglas was taken for a wagon ride.. taken away from me. That was hard.

The doctor came out to talk to me when the surgery was done. She said that he did great and, "his tonsils were huge! And it takes a lot to impress me. They definitely needed to come out". She knew that his dad's tonsil were coming out too. She gave me a hug and said that I probably needed a prescription to get out of the country. Ha! 

The experience of having D go through that was horrible. I hated every minute of it. He was miserable afterward. He hated waking up from the anesthesia and I had to get in bed with him to calm him down. He just wanted it to be over, for the pain and grogginess to go away and go home. I wanted to take his place, make it better.

Thankfully my in-laws kept Isabella for the first 2 nights. Mathew slept, and Douglas threw up most of the day the day of the surgery. He couldn't keep anything down until around 7pm that night. Even now, he's not 100% himself. There's been times when I've had to keep him from running and trying to wrestle the dog. But yesterday was day 3... The notes, the doctors, the nurses, the internet says that day 5-7 will be the worst. That's when the scabs come off and they will be in more pain. The pain is supposed to increase every day til they do come off, then it's supposed to hurt really bad, and then get better. I'm not ok with that. Mathew will be fine, though they say it's worst on adults than on kids. basically, D is making Mathew look like a wimp. I feel a little bad because he's totally getting jipped. I'm taking care of my baby. Mathew is an adult, he'll be fine I'm sure.... Sorry babe.

I think we'll be ok. I think keeping D's mind occupied is probably the best way to keep things going well. We've watched movies, played games, read books & baked + decorated cookies.

Hopefully the rest of the recovery will go on uneventfully. But for now I'm just holding down the fort. 

The Plaid Giraffe

so this guy started preschool last week.

The back pack was a toss up between Sonic, superheros, and Mario.

Mario Kart is his fave thing right now. maybe the fact that him playing video games is so limited helps make it special. [y'all know how much I love video games.]

He went to bed early, laid out his clothes, set out his back pack, asked for cupcakes for breakfast.

We were all very excited.

He didn't care that I dropped him off. He didn't even think about telling me goodbye.

I'm not gonna lie, I did mind him blowing me off a little. But mostly I was happy for him.

When he ventures out, confident, happy + ready to take on the world on his own, I feel like I've done my job so far. Not a perfect job mind you. But I do feel validated.

I took the time he was in school to myself and went to target, dropped off donations at Goodwill, enjoyed some Starbucks, + got the grocery shopping done. The most exciting part of the morning was picking him up from school. I couldn't wait to hear all about it.

To my disappointment all I got out of him was that he loved school. LOVED it. And he got to use scissors, play outside, + eat a snack. He's the kind of kid that tells me nothing, then one days teaches me something new and I'm all, "where did you learn that?!" To which he responds with, "school!" "sunday school." or "Curious George."

We tried to keep the special day going. Mathew had lunch waiting for us when we got home. Fried rice + fish sticks! Then He played Mario Kart while I put groceries away and Isabella napped.

over all I'd say he'll have a good memory of that whole day.

I shopped for like 4 hours. I was tired. So... dinner needed to be easy. I made french bread pizzas. super easy and quick. Great for busy days. [detailed steps below]

1. purchase bread, cheese, toppings. You can also buy some pizza sauce or check out my recipe for a super easy one here. [sauce hint* no need to simmer if you don't feel like it. just mix ingredients well and it's ready to go!]
2. slice bread in half, spread pizza sauce on.
3. add your toppings.
4. bake at 375 for 15 minutes
5. cut into slices. I like to use a big chopping knife and just rock it across so that I don't burn my fingers. [does that make sense?]
6. [not pictured] eat your heart out.

you can make a side salad or whatever you'd like. It's quite popular around here.

You're welcome!

After dinner we flew kites.

Douglas has gotten the hang of it and can even keep up with his daddy.

They BOTH also would like y'all to know that they flew the kites to the end of their string. [pictured below... they're pros.

good day indeed.

back surgery [part 2 of 2]

[here's part 1]

That first night was rough. He had to be checked on every 30 minutes. I hardly got any sleep. He was in a lot of pain.

The next day they said that they wanted to get him up and trying to walk... um, no. You just cut his spine apart.

But they did. So I left. I knew he'd prefer for me not to be there and I did too. I went home to check on the kids, eat something + shower.

That afternoon they had him walking again.

They did it twice everyday.

. 

it got a little easier every time.

We were there for almost 5 days. but he had cable + I watched the United States of Tara on my iphone. Thank heaven for hospital wifi! at least we had a nice view.

That runs through the middle of the hospital, so you can see it from most of the patient's rooms.

Bonnie + Clyde live there.

they were very entertaining. Clyde follows her around strutting his stuff all day. She ignores him.

that Friday they made sure he could go up & down steps.
then told him to go home.
just like that. 

it snowed that day.
I was scared.
getting him in the truck + out of the truck, it all sucked.
+ the ice & snow made me nervous for him.

He slowly got better at home. He felt more comfortable. He'd use his walker & go sit with the kids & I as long as he could. 

.

As you can see, that's also the time D decided that he would wear all his shirts backwards. He said he liked them that way.

I coped, with yoga,

... and the occasional slip out after bed time, tell Billy to keep an ear out of his DAMN headphones for a while a lone drive to walmart time. I MAY have bought a personal cheesecake and stuff a piece in my mouth with my hands like a starving person... in the parking lot. AND sit in the Starbucks parking lot crying with scones + coffee + hot chocolate + a very dear friend who will never know how grateful I am for her. [yeah, i'm not ashamed, I made it through, + I got to stuff my face!]

We went to his check ups + tried to do everything right.
At least I did.
He fell about 2 weeks after his surgery.
It's what happens when you don't listen to the lady of the house & do things the wrong way. of course it was the first time I left him home. The kids were at grandma's + I was throwing a baby shower for a friend. Billy was supposed to be at home to help just in case, but he was playing xbox and wearing head phones. those damn headphones. [yes, I used the word damn. when it comes to gaming headphones, I'm allowed to.] So Mathew laid there, had to get himself up. I checked on him on my way from my mother in law's to the shower location. I told his doctor. He had xrays done. We were practically back to square one, but he didn't hurt anything. It was a major set back. 
But he learned his lesson

While he healed, he had visitors, 

and played video games. He longed to be able to walk to the mailbox, then graduated to driving, and everything.

His last appointment was July 11th.

"CT looks awesome! You can't hurt anything now, just no sky diving or anything like that. No lifting more than 50lbs. But I'd say you can go back to work. Do what you feel comfortable doing."

That' what his doctor said! YAY!! He was so excited. But he's gotta ease into it. Things will eventually get back to "normal". I just don't think that it's happening fast enough for him.
boys.

back surgery [part 1 of 2]

Thank you to everyone that's prayed, thought of us, helped, brought meals, took the kids for a while, made me feel loved and wanted, let me cry on your shoulder, hugged me, bought me a drink...
thank you! We couldn't, I couldn't have done it without you.

I'm sorry I haven't updated. I feel like I'm wasting time if I sit down to write, but I've also realized that when I don't speak/write my thoughts & feelings I lose my mind just a little. So, here's the back surgery summary... you know how awesome I am at summarizing things... I just don't. What can I say? I'm wordy.

McCune Brooks Hospital Carthage, MO

Mathew is doing great. great! He was released by his physical therapist [every time I write or say the word therapist I think of it being the-rapist. I have a sick mind like that]. No more physical therapy! Of course he's supposed to still do things on his own. He's been walking a couple miles on the treadmill & cycling about 3 miles a day. Can you believe that?! I told you, he's doing great!!

sitting in the parking lot before going into the hospital for the surgery.

The day of the surgery was rough. I thought I'd prepared for it. They said it could be up to 8 hours long. I had my iPhone & the charger for it. Plus a few things to spend the night. The kids were at home with my mom, we figured they would be more comfortable that way. The pastor at the church we used to frequent was there even before they took Mathew back to surgery. He's the best! Caleb, one of Mathew's best friends was there too! I think that them being there really helped him get his mind off of things and even have a few laughs before they cut him open. When the 3 of us went to his room where he was waiting to get taken back to surgery we all laughed. He had a gown on that inflated, it had temp control... he looked like The Hulk. ha ha!!

At around 10 they told us it was time. I could tell he got nervous. I was nervous. SO many things could happen. It could have been the last time I saw him. He could be allergic to something, they could mess up. They might find something else wrong while they're in there.... I watch Grey's Anatomy people! I'm usually very paranoid in my head, I think of all the things that could go wrong. Usually I ignore them and put my tough face on, this time was no different. I just went through the day and waited.

Thankfully Mathew's mom came & stayed with me. So did his grandparents, and at the end of the day his brother. They helped keep my mind occupied & were all there when he came out of surgery.

That's when I thought I'd lose it. Dr. Ipsen showed me his xrays. they took his spine apart. they cut things out of it and filled it with stuff.... what the heck?! I felt like throwing up just thinking of what they did to him. Thinking about how they cut down his front, moved everything out of the way, then sliced up his spine. Then they flipped him over cut slits in his back, through his skin & muscles and shoved a couple rods & screws into him. HOLY CRAP!

It was almost 8pm when they came and got us so we could finally see him. I kept it together even though I could barely breath with that giant knot in my throat. He looked so... I don't know what word to use. I just know that in that moment I wanted to trade places with him. I wanted to take his pain away, to be the one there. I cant imagine how his mom felt. I can't imagine seeing my son go through that. but she did good, she kept it together too. All he wanted when he saw us was to hold my hand and for his daddy to get there. When his dad got there I could see the same feelings in his face too, but we all held ourselves together for Mathew's sake, for each other's sake. I know that if one of us lost it, all of us would've. I'm pretty sure I said some rude things when his parents started criticizing the way the nurses were doing things... I know that's just what they do, but I was a mess & didn't want to hear it. Everyone eventually had to leave, I can't imagine how hard that must have been for his mom. but I was ready to be alone with him. I made sure he didn't need anything, turned off the lights, then sat in the recliner chair thing in the corner.

Behind that picture was me, hyperventilating... trying not to puke, trying to breath, crying, but trying be quite so that he wouldn't hear. Trying to prepare myself for the next couple of days.

to be continued....

our love story [part 1]

After reading Bridget's love story, then Elizabeth's love story Martha & I thought it would be fun to write ours & our husbands' & link up to each other. That was a couple months ago, but i finally started. It'll be in installments & it'll be fun. But fair warning, it's sappy, it happened fast {married within a year}, & i like details so it might be kind of long.

here we go

[people's names have been changed to protect their identity]

Sunday July 11, 2004 at church my best friend {at the time, we'll call her "Brook"} told me that she met a guy that would be *just perfect* for me. One to get me over some guy I had been hung up on. You know, the kind of guy that leads you on when they are around but never actually commits. The guy that will call your phone until he gets you. The guy that expects you to wait on him forever. The heartbreaker. Anyway, I was hung up on this heartbreaker but Brook was tired of seeing me be all melancholy & shiz. I tend to over think things, over analyze, let them affect everything that I do. All conversations led back to the heartbreaker. Brook invited my brother & I to lunch with her family, boyfriend [let's go with "Rob" on this one] & a few other people after the morning church service. She was the pastor's daughter. We went to Maria's in Roger's Arkansas {how in the world do i remember that?!}.

Now don't get lost here: The day before, Brook had gone to Carthage, Missouri with Rob to celebrate his sister's birthday {my now sister-in-law, we'll call her "Tammi"}. At that small party were Tammi's in-laws [my sister-in-law's in-laws, my now in-laws] & her husband's brother-in-law, Mathew. Got it?! Well Brook told me that she had talked to Mathew quite a bit & that he seemed so sweet & nice, the kind of guy that "would treat you like a princess". She said that her & Rob had told him about me because she'd asked if he had a girlfriend & he had said no. Then she asked, "well what kind of girl do you like?!" to which {she said} he replied "a girl like you". GAG!!! This should have been a hint of how shallow she'd become. Anyway, all she wanted was for me to say that it was ok for Rob to give him my number. I told her I'd have to think about it. She wasn't crazy about me being so standoffish about the idea.

We all went our separate ways after lunch. I thought about it.... I mean I needed to get over this guy, & we'd only be talking. I was leaving for college in about a month so... what the heck?! that night at church I told Brook to go ahead & give him my number. She smiled her big happy smile & acted so excited for me.

I expected him to call that same night.
He didn't & I forgot all about it.
Then Monday came and went.
Tuesday July 13th, 2004 at around 9pm my phone rang with an unknown number.

"hello?"
"hi, is this Emma?"
"yeah! who's this?!" {i'm rude sometimes. no surprise there huh?}
"Mathew, Brook gave me your number"

THREE hours later my cheeks hurt. I smiled almost the whole time. We just asked each other easy questions. He told me about how he grew up on a farm, I told him about how I didn't know anything about that. I'd moved from California 4 years earlier, still missed it & still went back once a year. We talked about our likes and dislikes. We talked about our beliefs {that's a biggie!}. But most importantly, in the end he told me he'd like to come down and visit me. Take me out on a date. I couldn't say no right? Well, I didn't want to say no. I found my mom & told/asked her about it. She was very surprised, but acted like if I wanted to go for it then she was happy for me. Mostly I think it was because I wasn't all sad looking at that moment.

Mathew & I talked on the phone every night the rest of the week. I'm sure that a couple times I fell asleep on the phone & he probably did too. He worked a ton back then. He made me laugh, made me happy every evening. One night after he'd made me laugh I said, "you're so funny! I love you!" then I gasped. I didn't mean that... right? I cared about him already, we'd probably spoken to and knew more about each other than me & some of my closest friends did.... but now it was out there & I almost hyperventilated. Mathew though, didn't miss a beat. He kept the conversation going because he knew I was embarrassed & unsure of what I'd said. It just slipped out!

On Saturday, my mom had to work & I don't remember where my brother was, I think he spent the night with a friend. I woke up early, showered, & fixed my hair. I also took forever trying to decide what to wear. I wanted to look nice, but not too dressy & not like I had tried very hard. I'd talked to this guy for hours & hours the last 4 days but had never met him in person, so I didn't want to over do it but yet wanted to be fabulous. I didn't know exactly what we were doing anyway! It was a long process but in the end I wore a denim skirt that came to my knees, a pink polo & some flip flops. I sat in a chair by the front door & waited.

airline safety

my last post was.....
well.
i don't think it was mean.
it was..... real.
everyone goes through spells like that with people they love so i'm not sorry that i posted it.
mathew read it.
we talked.
and i was right.
...i usually am... [sarcasm..... but not really]
he's unhappy. he's discontent. not satisfied. not present.
he admitted that he's been distant. and a-holey.
he's not happy with his lot in life.
if it were up to him he'd be farming right along side his dad... building up the farm even more.... [or however you would say that, i don't do farm talk]
and as much a you'll hear me say how i can't believe i live out here, how i detest bugs, heat, grass, and pretty much anything outdoorsy. i want him to be doing what he wants to be doing.
and I will do all i can to help.
I've picked up dead turkeys, fallen in turkey poop, gotten turkey guts & poop on my face, driven weird machinery, giant trucks, and even faced my fear of up close contact with cows for this guy.
because it's what he loves.
because it's his life.
but in order for him to be able to do that in the long run, he needs to back away from it right now. just for a bit.
he needs to heal.
but he doesn't want to need to heal.
he hates that this is happening in the first place.
so what does he do?
he isolates himself.
he hides behind mean words and snappy comments.
mostly from me.
we all know by now that i don't put up with unnecessary attitude and hatefulness well... at all. from anyone.
but i'm the last person that he wants seeing him that way. seeing him in his "weak state".  though i don't think of him that way at all. i don't see him that way... in his mind he wants to keep me from thinking of him needing help, not being able to pick up our children, or even bend over sometimes.
and i understand.
i also know that as much as you know what's good for you, what's right from wrong, sometimes your feelings, thoughts, emotions, and fears trump what you should feel and take over.
as much as we talk about him enjoying his time off, enjoying spending time with the kids, helping a little around the house, and just being home he wants to be somewhere else. let me rephrase that. he wants to be ABLE to be somewhere else. and he is... able... but then what... we'll have to call an ambulance one day to come pick him up and take him straight to have back surgery?! no!
back surgery is the last resort. and the cause of what's wrong can't even be fixed by surgery. {details here}
i had postpartum depression after having isabella. so i do understand.
and i also know, and he knows in his head, in his heart that for now... he's just gotta suck it up and live life.
the way it is.
he's gotta take care of himself, be happy with himself, thank God for the life, the people he has. get close to Him. just be happy "within". maybe even taking up a hobby [besides freakin xbox please?! did i tell you that he got invited to join a pro team as an alternate?! that there's a gaming league... what?!! I know! lame-o... but they'd probably say that about walls of yarn and fabric that make my heart flutter] eat right, exercise, stick with the physical therapy.... get good sleep.
LOVE himself.
no one, i don't care who they are, can respect, love or take care of anyone else the proper way [selflessly] if they don't respect, love, or take care of themselves.
it's one of those "airline safety" situations. where you put on your own oxygen masks first before helping those around you. not saying don't help those around you, but rather don't let yourself become faint from lack of oxygen, that you can't be much good to anyone at all.
it'll take time before he's happy again.
but he will be.... even just FINALLY talking about it he seems like he has a load off.
he's a tough nut to crack.
but i think together, we'll be ok.
we'll be great.

changes

I've spent 2 days,
well day and a half,
well thursday from 8 to noon & friday from 8 to 5.... working.
well training.
at an office downtown.

WHAT?! i know!!

pardon the dead bugs on my windshield

you know about mathew's back & his ER trips. well, he went to the orthopedic doctor on August 17th & it went well. we both like the doctor very much, he's not much older than us & looks like he could totally whoop some butt. maybe a veteran, but too young to have gone through the military AND medical school, or maybe he just looks that way. anyway, we like him. this past wednesday we went back for him to get his first shot. in his spine.

WHAT?!! i know!!

dumb, annoying, trying to be helpful, rude people keep telling him, but mostly me. I guess if you tell someone to tell someone else something it's not as rude?! ugh. tell them yourself if you don't think it's stupid. anyway.. those people keep bugging me telling me that Mathew should go on a diet, lose some weight, that'll FIX his back. if you've met mathew he's a big guy. not fat big, scary, kick your a** or maybe just play football big. so losing weight?! maybe 20lbs.. no mas. but to those people - you know what?! poop on you. Doc found out EXACTLY what the problem is. his vertebrae is slipping and pinching/slipping the disc below it, the disc it's supposed to be resting on. THAT'S the cause of the pain. thank you dr. hearndon for FINALLY telling us the cause, not just how to patch it up. physical therapy to strengthen his back & celestone shots to help with the pain so he can be able to do the physical therapy. genius! we joined the ymca in town, they have a therapy pool, and lap lanes. mathew's going to start swimming laps at least a few times a week to strengthen his core. i told him yoga would help, but we've tried it & mathew thinks it's stupid lol of course i can hold high plank position {without shaking!} longer than him, so i think he's just jealous. ha! he's also going to stop working for a while.

WHAT?!! i know!!

he's not excited about the situation, but we both know that this is for the best. his body needs a break, needs time to heal. so we've decided that he's going to stay home with the kids, & i'll be working.

WHAT?!! i know!!

i'll be in the top floor suckas!!

i found a receptionist job that pays well working for school messenger thanks to a friend. i don't officially have the job yet but you know it's in the bag. i hope. i go in for more training this week, not sure of my schedule yet or anything. all i do know right now is that it'll be good. mathew will get to spend time with the children, see what i do from day to day {this could be beautiful, maybe no more "what did you do today? why can't you just _________ while the kids play?" maybe now he'll understand}, he'll get to heal. heal so that he can do what he really wants to do. what he dreams of doing for the rest of his life. farming. meanwhile i get to miss the kids, drive into the city, dress up or down, do my make up, take a lunch break with NO kids, wake up early, put up with traffic, actually have a weekend...

mathew

MRI results:

small tear inbetween L4 & L5

sucky place for it. specially for someone who does manual labor for a living. for someone who drives a tractor or a semi-truck nearly every day. but nothing to be done about it until it tears. they want to give him cortisone shots to help with the pain & steroid shots to see if it'll help it heal itself. when it tears all the way, then they can do surgery. i'm not crazy about that. so i've been online doing research. thinking of doing a detox. eating raw foods. maybe even juicing like on Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. this movie is on Netflix watch instantly section. i totally recommend you take the time to watch it.



i don't think i could go 60 days. mathew wants to do a 10 day juice fast. we're getting ready for it. i might do a 5 day one Mathew though, is desperate for some relief. I'm also working on cutting refined sugar out of our diet. going to use a stevia mixture instead.

this morning we went to the ER again. Mathew woke up with the same pain from last monday. but up higher too. and stronger. it scared him. he drove himself to the ER and i called his mother to come watch the kids. again. they ran the same tests & some more. they also did some x-rays.. his kidneys & other organs are fine. no problems. they think it might be Musculo-Skeletal. they don't know what to think, they just know, or say they know he's not in danger from anything major organ damage.

mathew

yes, mathew with one 't'.
my mathew.

ok, isabella's pretty much stolen him from me right now but he's still mine.

he's been having a bit of a hard time lately.
you see, my guy has got some back problems.

this is a long one! so make sure you have a few minutes!

a few years ago he was doing something, can't remember exactly what it was right now but he hurt his back. i don't think that it was anything major, just you know, normal stuff. normal farmer stuff. which probably isn't the stuff most people refer to as normal at all. anyway the pain was almost unbearable. he went to the chiropractor & was told he more than likely suffered a slipped disk.


"Although they do not actually "slip," a disk may split or rupture. This can cause the disk cartilage and nearby tissue to fail (herniate), allowing the inner gel portion of the disk to escape into the surrounding tissue. This leaking jelly-like substance can place pressure on the spinal cord or on an adjacent nerve to cause symptoms of pain either around the damaged disk or anywhere along the area controlled by that nerve.

The layman's term "slipped disk" is, therefore, a misnomer and actually refers to a condition whereby portions of an abnormal, injured, or degenerated disk have protruded against adjacent nerve tissues. This condition is also known as a herniated disk, ruptured disk, or prolapsed disk.. The most frequently affected area is in the low back, but any disk can rupture, including those in the neck."

{via emedicinehealth}

a while ago, it was after i had isabella so less than a year ago. i got a call from his mom.

"we need to you to bring the tahoe here mathew's been hurt"

i like to think that i'm usually pretty cool under pressure. except when it comes to bugs or pretty much anything that's not a big deal, then i go overboard. weird.

i just said ok & loaded up the kids & took off. no panicking. no questions asked.

between the first incident & this one the injury seem to bother him about every 6 months. it's like it wouldn't bother him at all and then one little thing, like bouncing around in a tractor or a semi truck would flare it up again.

this time i got there & he was sitting in a chair bent over unable to straighten back up.

he was unclogging the hay mower {?? i think ??} & when he went to stand back up the pain just hit him & he fell to the ground. normally his phone would be out of his pocket in the tractor. this time God had kept him from doing that so it was there when he needed it. there's no telling how long he would've been laying there if he hadn't had it on him. God is awesome isn't He?!

mathew called his dad, told him to come get him because his back hurt & he was going home. click.

dad, not knowing how bad this was decided to take mathew's truck to the field.

mathew's monster truck.

the one with the step that's at my face.

though i know i'm challenged in the height area. here'd a good picture of our height difference

when dad got there they tried to get him into the truck. 

they gave up.

dad wanted to call an ambulance.

but they tried again & got it.

i got there, he got in the tahoe & we headed to the chiropractor.

he's not just our chiropractor, i honestly think we consider him a friend of the family.

mathew had re injured the disk from what he could feel. it would fix it self, but it would take a while.

i think that time mathew was out of commission, off from working for about a month.

for a while after that it seemed his back would get "hurt" every few weeks. not as bad. just a little sensitive. & so he'd take off work as not to hurt it worse or cause any problems. taking off work for a few days is better than being unable to work for a month. 

i love the chiropractor. we both try to go often. him more than me. but it helps me a lot too. i went the whole time i was pregnant with isabella. ribs, hips, everything out of place. about a month and a half, maybe 2 months ago mathew went for an adjustment & Dr Ford told him that it seemed like he'd taken well enough care of it that it felt like it was as good as healed from what he could tell. both mathew & i  had a sense of relief.

the week before the 4th of July mathew came home with a hurt back.

not in agony, just in pain. in a slightly different spot.

enough is enough. he's been working 1/2 days {that's an 8 hour day for a farmer}

Friday Dr Ford scheduled him for an MRI this coming Tuesday afternoon. once he gets the results he'll get to see what we're really dealing with here. he'll see what's wrong.

he'll refer him to a specialist who will let him know what his options are.

there's a good possibility he'll need to have back surgery.

i remember when i had isabella & had to have an emergency c-section, how helpless i felt.

i hated not being able to do my own things.

being told not to bend over, be on my feet too long, or pretty much do anything.

i can't imagine back surgery.

photo - Simplicity by Cara

so i'm asking you.

please.

please pray for him. please pray that the MRI might show that something alternative can be done. or that if he does need back surgery that it fixes it good. so that he doesn't have to go through this again.

please pray for Dr. Ford. for wisdom to make the right diagnosis, the right recommendations.

please pray for us. that we'll be able to budget  our spending with all of this that's going on.

but mostly, i ask that you pray for mathew. that you pray he keeps his spirits up. that he doesn't get depressed, upset, or discouraged. he started to go there when he was hurt for that entire month+.  & can only imagine when you're the head of a household, the "breadwinner", the leader, how hard it must be to need help, to not be able to do your job the way you want to.

thanks so much! i just know that you'll keep him in your thoughts & i'll keep you posted!

exciting 3 days

On Monday night {one day after the EF5 tornado in Joplin} we had really bad thunderstorms. all day. & night. news reported that a couple of police officers directing traffic in the heart of the disaster area got struck by lightning. one was released from the hospital that night, the other was still in critical condition the last time I heard. our house got struck by lightning too. we're not sure where it hit but it came out our kitchen light fixture. one that has 5 lightbulbs. 2 of them busted.

 Mathew & his dad checked all over to make sure nothing was smoking, no insulation was smoldering in the attic or anything. but there was glass all up in my kitchen! other than that. no biggie.

Tuesday evening we had bad weather again. a friend of mine from my mom's  meetup group & her family who was in the tornado came & spent the night with us. they were in their Jeep & pulled of where the road dipped by a bridge I think & rode out the storm. The have a 2 and 1/2 year old and a 4 yr old (i think he's 4) that were in the back seat. I don't know the whole story & feel weird telling their story. I don't know, I just kind of feel like it's bad etiquette i guess. anyway, they came over Tuesday evening to ride out the storm. isn't he cute??!

and Isabella just loves her daddy...

It was fun. but we did have a few tornado warnings. a few funnel clouds that would descend partway down but would go back up. right by our house. Thank The Lord nothing major went down around here.

all those days I've felt helpless, hearing stories on the news, seeing the images. I want to do something. so Tuesday I went to donate blood. heard they were low on O (+ & -). That's me. I'm almost certain I am O- but not 100% positive. I'll find out when I get my donor card in the mail I guess. but I felt like I had to do something. I've never donated before. had a blood drive in high school but i didn't weigh enough. now I do.. :/ lol but I prepped, drank lots of fluids. when they checked my levels the nurse told me all my levels were great. that I had great blood :)

I chilled with my 1st time donor sticker & my copy of Midnight Sun on my iPod. {Is reading a book from a vampire's point of view while donating blood weird?}

The nurse that set me up said I had great veins... I already knew that. hear it every time I have blood work done. You can see them whether I want you to or not. even with concealer. good thing I'm hispanic. if I was white I'd totally be see through. lol anyway, she told me iron levels were great, blood pressure perfect.... I was feeling great the whole time... until...

The bag was almost full & the nurse said "you're almost done. should be any minute!" right after she said that I realized that I was feeling a bit light headed. So I let them know. They propped my legs up a little. then took the needle out. {I was already done}. She asked me to put my arm straight up & that did it. I started feeling claustrophobic. of course they lay me down even more {ugh!} I asked for a drink. coke to help with the nausea I now had {something I learned from my time working at a pharmacy}. I felt hot & started sweating. plus I felt claustrophobic because they didn't want me to move. dry heave. hazard bag in my face. wet paper towels on my neck, forehead & chest. almost passed out.

what the heck happened?! everything was going fine! needles don't bother me. blood doesn't bother me. guess I can't spare any of my blood?! after about 30 to 45 minutes! I felt better. got up slowly & score!

Gardetto's & Coke!

they made me eat something & sit there for another 15 minutes. the nurse said {& I quote} "you look a lot better! earlier you couldn't even see your lips, they had no color in them. but you didn't pass out all the way!" ha! only me!... only me!

Cool

"his name is Cool, & he's beautiful." - Douglas

happy family right?! well, afterward Mathew & I got into a huge snowball fight. mathew put snow down the back of my pants while I was bending over. then he knocked me down and dragged me on my back so that the snow would pile into my pants. I didn't do anything to deserve it! nothing I didn't throw snow balls in his face. I didn't knock his sun glasses down and lose them in the snow. I didn't knock him down & rub snow in his face. none of that ;)