The Phantom

I used to love taking showers. Well, I still do.
Ever since Douglas was born I kind of hate them.
Well, I love them. But hate them.

When they're babies, the spit up, poop, and sleepiness makes you wish you could shower every half hour.

When they're toddlers you hope to have 10 minutes to just shave your pits and maybe wash your hair.

But what about when they're old enough to be alone for 15-20 minutes and know that you're in the shower if they need to get you? Can you actually enjoy yourself?

That's a big fat NOPE! [no Call of Duty breaks for me]

I don't think that as a mom I'll ever just be able to not think about them. To just be in the moment. At least not for more than a couple minutes. But it only takes 1 minute to scarf down two slices a slice of walmart cheesecake in your car in the parking lot. I live for those minutes. Even though I don't log enough workout time to counteract them...

Right now Douglas will be 5 in November & Isabella is 2 + a 1/2 and showers suck when they're home. Even if they're sound asleep. EVEN if their daddy is home.

Shower time is when the phantom shows up.

The phantom crying, screaming, crashing.
I know that I'm not the only one who hears it. I've asked around.

When D was a baby I swore he cried as soon as I got in the shower. I'd turn the shower off and everything was quiet. Daddy at work, d sound asleep.

Not just during showers though, any loud activity, vacuuming, blow drying my hair... whatever.
It sucks.

I mean, sometimes when Mathew is home I think that I hear a car full of murderers pulling onto our gravel driveway, coming in and killing everyone. I'll come out of the bathroom in a towel only to be shot in the face. ["I shot Marvin in the face!"- name that movie!]

I know it's morbid.
I try to ignore it.
I have a playlist entitled "squeaky clean" for those rare occasion where I can use up all the hot water because the kids are in bed and Mathew is home. I use that time to practice my lip-sync performances with a shampoo bottle. I'm kind of amazing at it.
If there is no music and sometimes even WITH the music and the dancing and shampoo mohawks there's still that fear.

It's like Dexter's dark passenger. I've wondered if it will ever go away.... I think:

"I'm sure it'll get a little easier once I know that they are adults and I've [hopefully] done an ok job raising them. But when they go to school, are they being picked on? Would they tell me? Are they keeping up with the curriculum? Do they wash their hands? Do the other kids ignore them? They're in the backyard but what if a cow goes crazy and runs through the fence to trample them? Did one of them just fall down the stairs? What about when they start driving.. Oh man... I'm starting to hyperventilate. What about when they decide to go explore the world.. When they're in India, or Turkey, or Bolivia, or Tulsa? Will I hear phantom sounds then? Yup... I need some cheesecake."

summer party

my katlyn is growing up:

she came over about 2 weeks ago to drop some stuff off & i asked her what she was doing for her birthday.

"i don't know yet. i know i wan't to have a party, maybe at tiffany's house"

our friend tiffany & her husband just bought a house. one that came with a shop, a deck, a hot tub, 2 fish ponds, a gazebo & a pool. whew! sounds beautiful, but like a lot of work. as much as i'd love something like that i know it would be full of weeds & practically be ruined if i had to take care of it. i can barely keep up with the inside of my house, in fact i don't do that great of a job. tiffany though, she's awesome at stuff like that so she keeps it looking great!

the invitation read that the party would be held "in Tiffany's gazebo"

the guests saw this when they arrived. 

candles lined the path to the gazebo

my first attempt at making bunting! i think it turned out pretty good! :)

doesn't it look lovely?!

pompoms, flag bunting, tulle, the works!

not to mention great food, which i forgot to take a picture of until my plate was pretty much empty

but believe me! it was yummy!

i think everyone enjoyed themselves. 

i know i did.

this is Tracy & Elizabeth, Katlyn's mom & 1 of her sisters. they told me not to get weird or funny pictures of them.

what?! i'm sorry i didn't hear that!

we even got a couple of group shots!

& we each got 1 with the birthday girl!

i had to leave before pretty much anyone else. motherhood. kids with allergies. you know.

but before i left, the sun started setting & the party venue looked a little something like this

one of the prettiest parties, ever.

happy birthday Katlyn! love you!

mayhem

a few things:

• I did KINDA kicked the flu in the butt. 

i passed it to the kiddos.
and the hubs.
tomorrow it'll be 2 weeks of sick kids..
sicks kids.. no problem
we'll just bum around. take naps. sleep in the same bed.

• this past weekend i had an order for 250 cupcakes.

plus the cake top.
250 cupcakes? no biggie.
just have a plan & execute it cake factory style.

one man cake factory.

• a blizzard.

tons of snow.
snow i can't walk in.
snowed in. hot chocolate. movies. thank God for Hulu
snow that the dog gets lost in.
snow that closes everything down (including the pediatrician's office).

all this at the same time?!
mayhem.

but it got done. thanks for the help of my wonderful hands-on hubby.

the wedding was the cutest thing ever! loved it!
cake turned out great & looked perfect with all the decorations.
here's my week in pics... enjoy the snow! if you're not sick. ;)

oh yeah! My very own pioneer woman moment. someone brought a newborn calf into my basement to "thaw out." saved it's life. almost gave me a heart attack when it mooed and I'd forgotten it was in there.

yum!

this past weekend I made these

smores on a stick

and this

american flag cake

it was my first time making cream cheese icing and it was all wonderful

=)

thanks melanie for the smores on a stick
& to ashley for the flag cake

"busy, busy, busy"

I've been busy.
on June 13th (a Sunday) my brother came to stay with us for the 2nd weekend in a row.
I love my brother.
He left on Thursday June 17th because he had to work.
Friday, June 18th (The day Toy Story 3 came out) I got a phone call from my mother in law, her words were: "Mathew hurt his back really, really bad we need you to bring the Tahoe". I'm told it's not in me to panic so I just say, "ok I'll be right there" and head that way.
He reinjured a disk in his back that he hurt last year.
but more about that later.
right now i want to talk about me.
maybe even whine a little bit.
notice the day of the day Billy was here, June 13th.
Mathew has been living on the couch since June 18th.
Billy came back to spend time with him so he wouldn't get bored out of his mind Sunday June 20 through Wednesday June 23rd.
He came back again yesterday, Sunday June 27th.
He'll be here til Thursday July 1st!!!
Mathew is still hurt.
I haven't had the house to myself (with just the kids) in 15 days.
Things aren't looking up for me.
I don't know if I'll survive.
I did get to go to Arkansas to visit my family & Plato's Closet (with Billy) this last Saturday.
But I can't seem to keep up with the housework.
I live in my kitchen.
So, at fore mentioned Plato's Closet I bought myself this magnet for my fridge.
I deserved it.
it makes me smile.
I love it.

please take it seriously.
I'm begging.
although there is no point.
someone wants to eat something every second of every day.
Today alone I cooked a dozen eggs.
a few slices of bacon. I don't cook bacon so it was the microwave kind (maybe one day I'll tell you the story of why I don't cook bacon. It involves pig nipples and almost getting knocked down with a pig belly)
4 pieces of toast.
I cut up a very large (and very sweet and perfect) watermelon into small squares
I made a lasagna (I'll do a tutorial on it because it's amazing as well)
an apple pie (I'll do a tutorial on it too because it's perfect)
I put together 1 peanut butter & Jelly sandwhich
I served 4 plates of HOT apple pie al a mode
prepared 6 bottles
I think that's it
my poor kitchen
someone...
please...
call for help....


ps i think we might finally go watch Toy Story 3 tomorrow. We'll see... maybe